| | I'm nineteen years old. The past years have been full of challenges,
experiences, trials that have made me the person I am today.
As i remember the past mistakes, the past struggles, the past
friendships, the past housing circumstances, i remember God's
faithfulness. I have been through times where i looked to drugs to fill
an emptiness that was already filled, i trusted friends who were there
for the good times then turned their backs on me when the fun was over.
i was taken advantage of, robbed, intimidated, lonely, overwhelmed with
times of depression, and lost control of myself through times of manic
depression.
The past few years have been full of these things. I am learning to
accept who i am, someone who has to live with illnesses and extreme
mood swings. I have experienced this things continually having no
control over it. But there is someone who is in control.
At times i feel down, like right now, where i struggle to be hopeful. I
have tended to drift away from everyone isolating myself from family
and friends. I have lost focus of what reality is and overwhelm myself
with thoughtlessness, where my mind drifts off and becomes pessimistic.
But now things are different. My focus is longing to look towards Him.
I am not completly putting Him at the center of my life. I try, but
have failed so many times. My dad shared with me his bible study. "Be
joyful when God puts you on hold". Basically he revealed to my that God
will put me on hold letting me wait before he picks up the other end of
the "phone line" and speaks to me. The "hold" length may be short or
long. And being on hold feels discouraging, but James tells us to
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many
kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops
perseverance"(James 1:2-3).
As we had a time of prayer. We both wept. My dad told me the tears were
not of sadness, but of overwhelming joy. That time we had together
helped me a lot. I am encouraged to keep looking to Him for strength
and although i may not be happy at this time, find the inner joy which
comes from Him.
Yesterday, my birthday, was one of the most memorable days of my life.
The simple lunch. The sincerity of fellowship. Everything about it was
amazingly awesome.
"Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." -Psalm 30:5
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| | Posted 11/19/2006 8:49 PM - 2 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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